


CommunityStuck

by orphan_account



Category: Community, Homestuck
Genre: Crossover, Gen, SBURB
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-05
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-26 22:59:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troy gets an early copy of a mysterious Beta game that he insists the whole study group plays with him. (Featuring PICTURES)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Note Lamentation Plays

Your name is ABED NADIR and today is the second most important day of your life. The most important day, of course, was the release of the box set of COUGARTOWN. Some people would say they have a wide variety of INTERESTS, but you are only interested in TELEVISION SHOWS and their CLICHES and TROPES. You are currently at your DAD'S HOUSE. You and your BEST FRIEND, currently at his parents' house, had to leave your apartment when a neighbour fell through the ceiling. Your other best friend and roommate remained to see that the apartment was patched up and that none of her shoes mysteriously vanished. You have brought your MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS with you. You have been asked by your Best Friend to play a game, a very exclusive BETA, along with the rest of your STUDY GROUP. This involved several hours of convincing, pleading, wheedling, scheming and in the case of one member, two days of setting up the computer and leaving very specific step-by-step instructions (and when all else had failed, a jury-rigged remote set up so one of you could connect to the game for him). Somehow, your friend managed to get the beta a few days early and has since sent a copy to the rest of the group. You have a little bit until you have to start getting ready.  
What will you do?

Abed: Check out your computer.

Oh, it looks like you are being messaged via PESTERCHUM. You got your friends to sign up for this after it was featured on a sitcom you enjoy and it has since become a staple of keeping in touch without expensive texting fees.

\--- touchdownBear [TB] started pestering admassNatural [AN] ---  
TB: Hey Abed!  
AN: Hey Troy  
TB: Man I am psyched for this game! It's gonna be awesome.  
TB: You sure you got Pierce's computer hooked up properly? I don't want him to be throwing the fridge around trying to order his pills from Canada or something  
AN: It'll be fine  
AN: Are you checking in with everyone?  
TB: Yeah! You'll be my server player, right?  
AN: Yeah  
TB: This is gonna be so awesome!  
AN: This is the game you have all those weird dreams about, right  
TB: I dream about other things too!  
AN: Are you sure? I've heard you talk in your sleep and you pretty much only mention flying, chess pieces, clouds and me.  
AN: Well. And Levar Burton  
TB: I thought we said we weren't gonna talk about that anymore.  
AN: Sorry.  
TB: The point is... I feel like I've been waiting for this game my whole life. This is it. This is what everything's been leading up to, you know?  
AN: You feel like this will finally fill the hole inside that football and plumbing and/or air conditioner repair couldn't  
AN: Or in my case, TV couldn't  
TB: Okay it sounds a little weird when you say it out loud but yeah!  
AN: I understand  
AN: There's a sound in the wind today  
AN: The final song of a dying city  
AN: The note that lamentation plays.  
TB: What?  
AN: Oh, no, sorry, that was a car alarm  
AN: What were you saying?  
TB: Nevermind, just get ready to play the game, okay?  
AN: Okay  
TB: I'm gonna go and talk to Britta. Will you check in with Annie and make sure she's got everything set up?  
AN: Sure  
TB: Thanks man. Later!  
AN: Later

\--- touchdownBear [TB] ceased pestering admassNatural [AN] ---


	2. A Chang of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abed organizes things, Britta has some problems.

That was productive. You're not sure what Troy's deal with this game is, but it seems pretty important to you.

 **Abed: Talk to Annie**

Hmm, looks like Annie isn't online right now. You should find something else in the meantime. Maybe you should put your DVD collection in order of the lead actor? Yes, that sounds like a fine activity that anyone would wa-

 **== >  
Be anyone else! Be Jeff Winger!**

  


  
You cannot be Jeff right now. It is too early and what kind of sane person would even attempt to be functional at this ungodly hour on a Saturday?

 **Be someone else then.**

You are now BRITTA PERRY. You live alone in your SOMEWHAT SHITTY APARTMENT along with your ONE-EYED CAT. You have a vested interest in SOCIAL JUSTICE and ACTIVISM, but you mainly use that as an excuse to COMPLAIN a lot. You like to think this makes you CHARMINGLY FORCEFUL but really it just makes you REALLY ANNOYING. You are majoring in PSYCHOLOGY and believe this gives you the right to PSYCHOANALYZE all your friends. You are waiting for your ...friend, Troy, to give the go-ahead to play this STUPID GAME. You don't really like video games because they promote MALE CHAUVINISM and VIOLENCE. Plus, you think they pretty much topped the medium with TETRIS. You recall Troy mentioning something about building. Maybe it won't be dissimilar?

What will you do?  
 **Britta: Knit a vegan hemp sweater for your cat.**

You did that last week. You could theoretically start on the rest of his hemp ensemble but it's not really hemp weather. Maybe a stylish eyepatch would be a good way to pass the time. It might be a terrible idea, though, considering how he reacted the last time you put clothes on him. You still bear the scars...

Maybe you should find something else to do.

Oh, there's somebody pestering you on your phone. Better check it out.

\-- betonChang [BC] started pestering bonafideProtestations [BP] --

BC: hey PERRY  
BP: oh my god, chang, how did you even get my username?  
BC: well i AM head of security. maybe you should be more secure about what you put under contact information on your student record.  
BP: what?? those are CONFIDENTIAL!  
BC: ;) ;)  
BC: So can I come in or what?  
BP: wait, are you outside my apartment?  
BC: Yeah, obviously. Why else would I ask to come in?  
BP: uh, way more importantly: why are you outside my apartment?  
BC: Look, it doesn't matter but I got chased by a raccoon.  
BP: a raccoon?  
BC: IT WAS A BIG ONE  
BC: And I think it's still lurking around here somewhere. Can you please just let me in until it's gone??  
BP: Ugh, fine, whatever. Just stay there and I'll come down.  
BC: Thank you :)

\-- betonChang [BT] ceased pestering bonafideProtestations [BP] --

Just what this day needed. Chang. Well, hopefully he'll get out of the way and not try to include himself to this dumb video game.

Actually, better yet, maybe he will. And then he'll play and you'll be able to do more important things that aren't huge wastes of time!

  
 _CHANGLOG_  
Chang: Oh thank god. I swear I see it's creepy, beady little eyes staring at me.  
Britta: Uh. Right. Just come in, okay?

Chang: Nice place you got here. Patterned wallpaper, eh?  
Britta: Uh, yeah, you don't have to --

Chang takes this opportunity to sit on your couch and make himself at home. You think this may have been a bad idea.

 _Britta: Okay.  
Chang: So, do you mind getting me a drink? Coke, maybe? Not diet though, aspertame makes me grouchy.  
Britta: ... Sure._

You go to the fridge to get Chang an Old 400 Cola, which costs 75% less than name brand cola and also contains about twice the amount of your daily recommended intake of ash.

 _Chang: Ahah! Got you now, ANARCHIST._

 _  
_

  
Britta: ... What?

 **Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am not putting very much effort into these drawings so just dwi okay?? also community and homestuck belong to their respective authors and creators, etcetera, I am not making any money off any of this.


	3. A Pierce of his mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pierce makes poor choices.

Britta: Be the stale old fart

 

You are now PIERCE HAWTHORNE. You are currently in the bedroom of your MANSION, which until recently you shared with your YOUNG AFRICAN AMERICAN FRIEND, TROY BARNES. He recently moved in with his ARAB ASSOCIATE, ABED NADIR. Your prior attempts at SWEET VENGEANCE at this betrayal have proven FRUITLESS and GENERALLY KIND OF AWKWARD. You are well-known for your INCREDIBLE WEALTH and your INCREDIBLE DICKISHNESS. Your LONG LIFE has been hallmarked by many GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS, perhaps the greatest of which is your recent ascension to LEVEL FIVE LASER LOTUS. You have a vested interest in DRUGS, SEX with WOMEN and SANITARY WIPES. You have a PASSION FOR LEARNING, and so far in addition to a AESTHETICIAN'S LISCENSE, you have earned a certification in HOT-TUB REPAIR and are currently DICKING AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF DEGENERATES because you really just have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

What will you do?

Pierce: Check your Personal Computer.

You decide to check your PERSONAL COMPUTER and SURF SOME WEBS on the INFORMATION HIGHWAY.

Oh that weird yellow box is back. Who cares, it's probably not important.

\--- touchdownBear [TB] started pestering pocketfullofHawthornes [PH] ---   
TB: Pierce?  
PH: eartha kitt nude photos  
TB: Pierce, no, stop. You're talking to me right now.  
PH: eartha kitt naked  
PH: drug laws denver  
TB: Pierce! Stop! Type words you want to say to me, Troy.  
PH: troy, get off my internet, i'm busy  
TB: You aren't...  
TB: Okay, nevermind.   
PH: cinnamon dental floss  
TB: Okay, do me a favor and go look in your medicine cabinet and make sure you have all your old people drugs or whatever? Or get your maid to do it or something.  
PH: oh, that's a great idea  
PH: cheap canada drugs  
PH: cheap canada border drugs tenormin  
PH: cheap maid canada drugs border tenormin   
PH: cheap canada mail order bride drug mules  
TB: Please stop!  
TB: Okay just... Just don't do anything. I'll call you when we're ready, okay?  
PH: mail order mules  
TB: Perfect.  
\--- touchdownBear [TB] ceased pestering pocketfullofHawthornes [PH] ---

These cocky young people, always thinking they can barge in on your search for naked ethnic women. You ought to teach them a lesson and run the game early! That'll show them.

Pierce: [Run program!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZ7oFKsKzY)

Ha, you're on to their game now!

**Author's Note:**

> this is by far the dumbest thing I've ever done. A collaborative effort.


End file.
